How to handle a woman talking down to you

Part of having AS is giving off a weakling vibe without meaning to, for the most part not being able to help it. Being naturally clumsy doesn't help. Doubly bad for men, because as Coach Roissy says, girls hate sweet, weak "betas" and love strong "alphas." And that's not just the hot chicks, although it's doubly true of them since of course they have much higher standards/they're not desperate. Long story short: most people don't take you seriously. As Tony Attwood says, you attract two kinds of normal people, mothers (patronizing) or predators (bullies).

That and being slower to pick up social cues or, my point today, adapting to changes in them.

Having a presidential IQ and a professor's vocabulary doesn't change any of that. Life's not fair.

I can tell the difference between a real compliment - like when the guy's guy of a boss says he likes how I now dress up for work, which I've done for about a year (and for a good reason: I get to go out of the office and deal with the public; not bad for an AS person), or the hot (of course taken) part-timer's supermodel smile saying, "You look nice!" - and a fake one.

What about the formerly friendly chubby girl who sees you by the water cooler or copier and says, "What's this? Are you going on a job interview?" A note of sarcasm you never heard from her before. Red alert! You're thrown off your autopilot routine/script for handling this person, a weakness of AS people.

"I'm a ____ (name the job)," stressing the last word, sounding rightly annoyed. Good move so far.

"So what are you ____ (name the job) now?" in the same patronizing tone she probably uses on her five-year-old nephew's claim to be Spider-Man.

AS mistake: assume this cow's still friendly and give a literal if flat answer.

Better: almost getting in her face (walking a step or two closer to her only if you have to), keeping your expression neutral, look her in the eye, and say, "I don't like your tone." (This should work if you keep your tone flat.) Then turn and start to leave.

If this person says, "Well, sor-ry!" or "Well, gah!" (sarcastic), keep walking and don't say anything more. If it's a long, patronizing "sorry" trying to sound all sweet if it's a girl, look her in the eye again (but don't walk back to her), wear the same deadpan expression and use the same neutral tone, and say, "This conversation's over." And walk away.

Front personalities to study and adapt for you: tough-guy movies and TV. (I said adapt. Don't overdo it by acting note for note or it will backfire or you'll get in trouble.) AS men think their wordiness works; it doesn't. Remember, alpha males don't talk a lot. If it wouldn't fit on the Jumbotron in big letters, don't say it.

(An alpha wouldn't give off the vibe to get teased like that either but you can still learn to react like one. Rehearse it until it becomes a habit.)

20/20 hindsight.

You're welcome. :)

AS on TV: Brick on "The Middle"

Article. A reason to watch besides Patricia Heaton's charms.

AFAIK like a lot of us the character's undiagnosed but totally one of us, down to repeating things in a whisper just after he's said them, the way some of us think aloud.