Here.
In the iconic American manual for this, Emily Post, her granddaughter revising it described manners wonderfully: they're not what people think - showing off by putting on airs (but, unrelated, sometime a little of that, in the form of alpha game for example, is called for... not necessarily the same setting as a society party but same idea) - but practical ways to be nice/charitable. People with real as opposed to affected class use them without calling attention to themselves by so doing. (A common AS mistake would be to try to relate to normals by memorizing Emily Post then ostentatiously trying to follow it, including bragging about it.)
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